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                                             Thanks for your help on how I can be better!

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  1. Hey Robbie,
    I really like the updates that you made to The Flood. I think that I read your original blog post about it so it was kinda cool to see it for a second time with some revisions. I was a big fan of how you showed what a day on the Ark was like. I thought that it helped give some light to some of the deaths that happened in the story. I like that you also talked about how people in this story had lives that lasted up to a thousand years and I thought that was really cool and interesting. I wonder if there would be any way you could add to how they got civilization restarted again and what they could do to stop it from happening again now that there was a single family and a pair of each animal. I think you did a fantastic job with this story and I wanted to let you know.

  2. Hi Robbie, The whole story was a great summarization but I really enjoyed the brief look at how a day might have been spent. When I heard this story originally as a child, I was worried about the sea creature because I hadn't grasped that it was all water. It is nice to see them appear in the story. The image was perfect and I like how your portfolio is set up. The only suggestions I have are that you might consider renaming the story in the page name to The Flood like it is on your story instead of Story 1. Also when I tried your link to get to your comment page it led me somewhere else to another part of the blogger platform. I got here from the link that was on the assignment page instead. Overall I had a lot of fun reading this retelling and would like to revisit to see what type of additions you might make over time. You might not need it but you could go into what the dove sees on his scouting mission.

  3. I enjoyed reading this story over all. It was very descriptive and had beautiful imagery. I would not change any of the imagery, but I would suggest adding more in there because it seems to really work with this story. You could also add some dialogue. You could put this at the beginning when Noah is warning people or while Noah and his family are on the arc. I would also say an introduction would help explain more about why you chose this story in particular. Although I did enjoy reading the story, a couple of creative twists would help continue making it enjoyable. I went to Catholic grade school so this story is all too familiar for me, but just because I know, about it doesn't mean other people do. That is why you should make it super interesting to help drawer readers in. Overall though, great work, it is a good start.

  4. Hi, Robbie! I read both your stories and love how in the first about 'Noah's Ark' you added your own personal touch and extra layers to the story. I feel like I can sit my kids around me and read it to them, and it would captivate their attention as you've spun such detail into your rendition. The second one with Sinbad -- I feel you really captured his voice while writing it in first person, and he feels like a real person. Also that cliffhanger you ended with, when you wrote, "Did I run into any problems? Oh yes but that is a story for another time" makes me want to hear more! One small thing is that having the pictures on top of the page might set the scene of the story before instead of after, and the image used for the Sinbad story is blurry. Really minor stuff. Thanks for writing such wonderful stories!


  5. Hi Robbie!

    You’ve written a couple of great stories there! Your portfolio looks good, but I would suggest maybe changing the page titles from “Story 1” to the title of your story? I think it will complete your portfolio site and make it look more clean! I enjoyed reading “The Flood;” it was great to see the details you added without straying too far from the original story. It was very descriptive and I could imagine the story in my own head. I liked in the second story, “Sindbad,” how you somewhat modernized the character and made him more relatable. He definitely seems like an interesting person, especially with his crazy adventures. It was a quick story, so I thought, what if you added some dialogue to balance with Sinbad’s narration? Maybe in the scene where Sinbad washes onto a shore of a new island and meets the man is where dialogue could be added. I think the ending is cool--how you left it as kind of a cliffhanger for another story to tell!

  6. Hi Robbie!
    I really like the look of your page. I think the picture on the front page represents what working on a portfolio would look so great job on that.
    In your first story I really like the way you wrote it. I think it was great and you made the story very easy to understand and easy to follow which I really liked. I think it would be great to talk a little bit more about the process of getting all the animals on the ark and what that was like. I think it could really bring something interesting into the story and show some different sides to what that was like. Other than that I think the story was great. I think how you describe the reason why God told Noah to create this ark. In that everyone was misbehaving and worshipping different Gods. I also really liked how you talk about how Noah and his family looked out from the boat and saw the world.

  7. Hi Robbie!
    I enjoyed your story The Flood! I think that the way you chose to tell the story in a way that stayed really true to the original story was really cool. I really like when people retell stories by adding more details and background information, especially when that information is made up! I think that it makes the story more unique while changing any of the structure of the original story. For your second story, I liked that you wrote it in the first person! One thing I will say is that with both pages I had a hard time differentiating your story from your author's note, so maybe you could add it after the image or have a new font or something to distinguish it? Overall, great job!

  8. Hi Robbie,
    I love how you rewrote the stories but gave them all a little twist of your own. I really enjoyed how you added a little about today's society. You are right that it is difficult to find a job without experience in our society. I like how you made that aspect of the story more realistic. I really enjoyed your picture for Story 2. I feel that it showed really how terrible this journey was on the ship. Is there any way to make the picture a little clearer? On my end, it seems pretty blurry, but it is a great picture for your story. I like how you stayed true to the original story for Noah's arc as well. I think it would be really cool if the stories had a more descriptive name. Overall, great job with all of your stories! Keep up the great work!

  9. Hey Robbie, your page is the first Myth-Folkore project that I've looked at and I can easily say I am super impressed by the work you have been putting in this semester! I really like how you incorporated stories from the Bible and threw in a twist, making them your own. All of your author's notes are super descriptive and I enjoyed how you made each character come to life by making them more relatable, especially in Story 2. I think it is really cool how you made sure to emphasize the areas of each story that you enjoyed most while reading the original stories. I think that is super important because it shows how invested you have been while reading each of the stories to turn them into something new, different, and relatable. So far I think you have done a great job of giving descriptive details throughout your portfolio. Keep up the great work!


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